Now Or Never
by Juliet'sEmoPhase
Summary: Whilst on a standard Auror mission, Harry and Draco get trapped by their enemies and face imminent death. Draco decides it's probably time to tell Harry how he really feels… Post Hogwarts, non-epilogue compliant. Drarry. No smut.


Author's note 22-06-15: This was written for the HP Ships Drarry week over on Tumblr, and also dedicated to my 500th follower drarrylovergonewild :-)

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Now Or Never

Debris was raining down over their heads, bouncing off the rough walls of the cave and filling the air with dust. Draco gave a hacking cough as he tried to fire another spell, but really, what was the use?

It had been a simple enough mission, closing in on the suspects he and Harry had been tracking for weeks. But the catacombs in Torquay had turned out to be far deeper and far more unstable than either of them could have predicted, and their quarry had turned hunter in a flash, trapping them under the collapsing rubble, leaving them to die.

Harry wasn't giving up; of course he wasn't, the stupid bastard. He couldn't even die quietly. He had thrown up a shield over his and Draco's heads, fighting against the anti-apparition charm, trying to blast through the dense rock before it crushed them or suffocated them or both.

Even now, Draco's heart swelled with a sad longing, feeling his love for his colleague, his friend, threatening to overwhelm and strangle him. How could he have been so foolish, so cowardly? Why, _why_ had he never said anything, why had he been so afraid of rejection he'd never risked telling Harry the truth?

He gasped for air, calming after his bought of coughing, his lungs burning and his heart heavy. It was no use, they were doomed for.

"If we can just break down the charm," Harry was saying, talking more to himself than Draco. "If we can disrupt the curse enough we might be able to apparate, or at least stop half of Devon falling on our heads."

"Harry," said Draco flatly.

"I don't understand how they got the drop on us!" Harry ploughed on, blasting another spell and another. "We should never have come alone, next time we'll bring a task force-"

"Harry."

"I think there's more of them, you know, in the group than we thought. I think it goes higher up, they've got more funding, resources-"

"HARRY!"

He paused, finally, and stared at Draco.

"It's no use."

"Of course…" Harry blinked. "What? Of course it is, we can't just give up!"

Draco shook his head, the rocks and shards of flint still crashing down onto the shield above their heads. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be thick," Harry snapped, returning to his spellwork and making Draco sigh. "This isn't your fault."

"No, I'm…" He struggled, trying to find the right words.

The last words.

"I'm sorry for all the shit I ever put you through." That got Harry's attention for real, and he steamed ahead, not wanted to be interrupted. "At school. I was an arse to you, I almost got you killed, I did awful things-"

"Draco!" Harry managed to interrupt, his face and tone exasperated. "We were both morons at school, we moved past that years ago, we have more pressing matters at hand right now!"

But Draco would not be moved. He felt strangely calm, excepting the inevitability of their predicament. "You don't really think we're getting out of this do you? Not this time."

"Of course we bloody are!" Harry raged. Draco wouldn't have had it any other way if he was honest, his sodding brave Gryffindor, stubborn even in the face of certain death. He wouldn't be Harry if he didn't try until the bitter end.

"I just want to make sure you understand," said Draco, a lump rising in his throat despite his best efforts to remain composed. "What this means to me – us. I only ever wanted to be your friend, I turned your rejection when we were children into the worse kind of contempt and malice, and the fact you gave me a second chance, that you helped pull me back after the Battle-"

"Draco," Harry tried again, seizing his shoulders, but Draco wouldn't let him stop him this time.

"You took a risk on me, you helped me when no one else would, but better yet you let me become your friend, your partner – there's nothing else in the rest of my miserable life that I'm more thankful for."

A particularly large chuck of stone thundered down from the side of the wall, pressing their alcove even closer together, cracking Harry's shield charm and making it waver. It wouldn't hold much longer.

"Stop it, stop it," snarled Harry, digging his fingers into Draco's arms. "We're getting out of this, I expect you to annoy me on many more missions after this one – you can't give up!"

"I'm not giving up!" Draco cried back, the tears pricking unwanted at his eyes. "I'm finally trying to do this right, I should have told you years ago!"

"That your my friend?" Harry cried in disbelief. "I hate to burst your bubble mate but I worked that out myself! I need Auror Malfoy! I need a crazy hex, I need some harebrained scheme – _I need you!"_

Draco shook his head ruefully. "That's exactly what I'm trying to say."

Without hesitation, Draco closed the gap between him and Harry, sliding his fingers through his course, black hair and finally, blissfully, kissing him full on the mouth.

His reluctance in the past had always been because of visions of Harry jerking away in shock and disgust if he'd ever tried to make a move like this. He felt the shock now, there was no doubting that, but within a second (and despite another deluge of crumbling rock) Harry melted into Draco like it was how it was always meant to be. He kissed back, his tongue slipping through to meet Draco's, his lips hot and strong and wanting. His body pressed into Draco, arms wrapping tightly around his back, hands pulling at the fabric of his robes.

The end was imminent, there was no fighting that Draco knew. But for his last few minutes he also knew he had found his Heaven on Earth, no matter what the afterlife held for him. This was everything he had ever wanted, and he was going to hold onto it until it was ripped away from his cold, dead hands.

The ground trembled violently and there was a popping sound that Draco guessed meant the shield charm had fallen, but he didn't care. The noise around them dimmed suddenly, but he just squeezed Harry into him tighter, bracing for the darkness to claim them.

"Um…Harry?" came a small voice.

The two men ripped apart in shock. The were still underground, but in a portion of the caves that was most definitely not falling down around them. And facing them were numerous Aurors, including Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger who had just spoken. They all looked utterly flabbergasted.

"What-?" spluttered Harry spinning on the spot, taking in their surroundings and new company in total disbelief. Draco, however, was concentrating on not dying anyway of mortification.

"I, um," stammered Hermione as everyone looked between themselves, Draco and Harry. "Managed a remote Apparition. It's something I, uh, have been developing-"

"Right," Harry coughed, rubbing his hand through his hair. "Yes, thanks – um, yeah, thought we were, you know, going to, uh, die, and-"

He glanced miserably at Draco, and fell quiet. Draco, on the other hand knew exactly what to say.

"Nope," he announced loudly, almost cheerfully. "Not dealing with this."

He'd sensed the anti-Apparition charm had been disbanded, and was proved right as he turned on the spot and mercifully disappeared from the cave and found himself home at his flat in London. He was filthy, he could see the dirt drifting off his clothes as he came to a halt, but his house-elf could cope with that later. There was nothing he could do to stop himself dropping to his knees and fisting his hands through his hair, screwing up his eyes and screaming at the top of his lungs. _"ARGH!"_ he roared at such a decibel he was certain it tested the limit of the silencer charm at the flat's edges.

He had ruined everything.

If he'd just waited another minute, if he hadn't been so reckless, Granger would have pulled them out, and he could have maybe mustered up the courage to approach Harry cautiously, like he'd always planned to do. Test the waters, make sure he felt he felt the same way before smashing everything they'd managed to build together in so many years of friendship. Harry's face had been so appalled, all the others had seen, he was going to have to move to Australia, change his name, dye his hair, anything to escape the blistering humiliation currently eating him alive…

There was a soft knock at the door, and Draco snapped his head from his hands, looking down his hallway suspiciously. There was only one person it could be really, but he didn't want to dare hope.

The knock came again, followed by a sigh loud enough it was audible even through the wood. "Draco," said a tired voice. "I know you're in there."

He dragged his dirty sleeve across his face, attempting to mop up some of the tears that had leaked out against his will. Should he answer? He had a very solid plan to run away to Australia after all.

"Draco," the voice growled, drawing out the vowels. "Let me in, or I'm coming in by force. Your choice."

Draco huffed, rubbing his eyes once more for good measure, and stomped over to the door to yank it open.

And there stood Harry. Dishevelled in his open Auror robes, his jeans and shirt ripped and coated in a film of grim. He raised his eyebrows above his glasses, crinkling his scar, then licked his lips and shoved his hands into his pockets self-consciously.

"Potter," Draco rasped through a clenched jaw, fixing his gaze firmly on the carpet in the corridor.

Harry puffed out a breath irritably. "Potter?" he repeated, before pushing his way in and slamming the door. "Are you going to look at me?" he asked a little kinder.

"No," Draco told him sullenly.

"Not ever again?"

He lifted his hand and lightly cupped Draco's chin, brushing his cheek bone with the pad of his thumb, and Draco couldn't help but raise his eyes a little.

"Hi," said Harry sweetly.

Draco swallowed and gave him the smallest of shaky laughs back. "Hi," he mumbled.

"That was a bit awkward wasn't it?" Harry said with a lopsided grin, but Draco scowled and looked away again.

"Alright, laugh it up," he sneered and pulled away from Harry's hand. "I bet you and your mates thought that was brilliant."

"You prat," said Harry firmly with a raised eyebrow. "Yes, it was brilliant, entirely brilliant, the most brilliant thing ever."

Draco's insides turned to ice, and he couldn't help but look back up into Harry's green eyes. He couldn't possibly be so cruel, not Harry, not now?

"I mean, I would have preferred my best mates hadn't witnessed it," he added, a smile creeping on his face. "But brilliant nonetheless."

Draco's heart leaped. "You…wanted me to kiss you?" he clarified, and Harry's smile became a full on grin.

"Only for about three years," he admitted. "I guess almost dying has it's upsides."

Draco couldn't seem to process what was happening. "But," he said, trying to formulate his thoughts. "You were so mad, so upset?"

"Yes," said Harry patiently. "Because traditionally people's first kisses aren't interrupted by half the members of their office gawking on. I mean, it's nice still being alive and all-"

"First kiss?" Draco interrupted. Hope was blossoming in his chest like flowers in spring.

Harry bit his lip and took a step closer. He was just as filthy as Draco, they were shaking dust off everywhere, but somehow that just made the moment all the more perfect. This was Harry, he was messy and complicated and right now he was looking at Draco like he was going to devour him for dinner.

"You kissed me," he said, as if explaining something obvious. "I figured it was my turn to kiss you." He ran his hand up Draco's lapel, slipping it around the back of his neck. "Then, if you like, we can carry on taking it in turns. Although," he was so close now, Draco could see his anxious face reflected in his glasses. "I can't promise I won't cheat – skip ahead a go here and there."

"You want this?" Draco breathed, not daring to believe it just yet.

"I want you," Harry countered. "I need you, or had you forgotten already?"

Draco shook his head incrementally, holding himself back with almighty effort, allowing Harry to edge closer and closer, until eventually he touched his soft lips back to Draco's.

All delicacy was abandoned. Draco seized Harry with the desperation of a parched man at a well, slamming their bodies together once again, gabbing hold of his gritty hair, not wanting to stop for anything, not even air.

It wasn't long before, obviously, breathing had to be addressed, but even as they panted Draco clung to Harry, resting their foreheads against each other, feeling just how real, how solid and _alive_ they were.

"You've wanted this too?" Draco managed after a while.

"You have no idea," Harry replied. "I wasn't sure if you felt the same, I didn't want to spoil it."

Draco laughed, he couldn't help it. "Me too," he smirked. "We're idiots."

"Dirty idiots," Harry beamed, dusting bits of rock from Draco's hair.

Draco closed his eyes and drifted against Harry's touch, feeling as his lips met the hallow of his clavicle. "We could do something about that you know," he said. "Something with less clothes and more water."

Harry hummed against his skin, sending a flurry of goose bumps across his body. "It would only be polite," he murmured, his kisses stretching up Draco's neck. "I am making a terrible mess of your home. And, I won't lie, I've had one or two fantasies before about us being rather filthy together. I think it could be fun."

Draco wasn't sure how Harry was speaking coherent words. He felt like a puddle in the middle of his hallway. "Fun," he repeated with a nod. "Nearly died, deserve some fun."

Harry pulled away, taking Draco's hand and leading him over to the bathroom door. "Come on Draco," he said wickedly. "Show me what fantasies you've had about us."

Draco was more than happy to oblige.

End


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